


On Land and Sea

by TelepathJeneral



Category: Homestuck, Homestuck Rare Pair Swap
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-19 23:36:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1488313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TelepathJeneral/pseuds/TelepathJeneral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or, rather, the examination of the possibility of magical powers both in and out of a computer simulated world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Land and Sea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dojo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dojo/gifts).



“Whoa, hey, you can’t expect me to help you there! You got yourself in there, lady, I ain’t gonna be the one to get you out.”

“Ass. Like I even need your help, fish-face, I’ve got this all under control.” With a triumphant smirk, Roxy leaned over her keyboard, fingers flying while the screen lit up with brilliant light. Eridan bared his teeth, pushing away from his own desk to watch as she maneuvered her avatar on the screen, and eventually scowled as she battled her way free of the NPC hordes. “And see! That’s how you do it! Mages aren’t a bad class, you just have to know how to work it.”

“You spent hours working up to level fifty! You’re some fuckin’ animal whisperer and potions worker and I’m stuck with this shitty wand!” Eridan pouted, avoiding Roxy’s vague swipe. “Come find me, I’m up on the mountain.”

“Y’know, you’d do better if your familiar wasn’t a lil’ seahorse.” Roxy laughed, shifting in her seat as the two mage avatars made their way along the questing path. “We’re inland, ‘dan, you can’t use ‘Luck o’ the Sea’ around here.”

“It’s ‘Wrath of Ahab’, and someday, when we get a sea mission, you’ll be grateful.” Eridan grumbled, weaving through a level two vine spell and collecting the requisite experience points. “Why are we fuckin’ mages, anyway? The robes are obviously for a wizard.”

“Hey, it’s what the game calls them. But if you really, really want, we can call them wizards.” Roxy allowed herself a grin, reaching for the bottle beside her computer screen before leaning back to tap it against Eridan’s shoulder. “Will Admiral Nelson make you feel better about bein’ a shitty mage?”

“’m not a shitty mage.” Eridan shoved the bottle away, distracted by a squirrel on the path. “I just need a little time.”

“Aww, c’mon, just a little? Might level the playing field, if I challenge you to a duel.”

“Hey, that’s not fair, my tolerance is way lower than yours-“ Eridan yelped as a hand ruffled his hair, his bright blond forelock falling in his face. “Leave the flippin’ hair alone! You know how long it takes me.”

“Yeah, yeah, ya whiner. You’ve got more hair shit than I do.” Roxy set down the Admiral Nelson, pausing the game in order to use both hands to ruffle Eridan’s hair. “I cast a medium-level spell of disarray. The Wizard of Pomp and Silly Powers is in a kerfuffle!”

“Augh-“ Eridan managed to pause his own progress, batting at Roxy’s hands. A low meow warned him an instant before Frigglish leapt into his lap, making him wince while insistent paws poked at certain vulnerable areas of his anatomy. “Now that’s not fair! I told you, animal whisperer! You gotta let me level up before a real duel.”

“He’s just hungry. C’mon, I’ll go do some animal whispering, and you can show me what a great, studly non-wizard you are.” Roxy disconnected from the game server, standing before claiming Frigglish from Eridan’s lap. Black hair clung to his tight jeans, and Eridan cursed under his breath as he tried to wipe the hair from his shirt.

“Hey, Rox-you wanted sandwiches, or somethin’ bigger?” Trailing behind her, Eridan made his way into the apartment’s small kitchen, watching as Roxy knelt to scoop out cat food for Frigglish. Her shoulders bobbed in a small shrug, and Eridan settled for leaning against the counter as she thought.

“Well, you can cast a pasta spell. Those Italian wizards, man, great stuff.”

“Hey, cooking’s not magic. It’s just science.”

“Tasty science.” Roxy pointed out, aiming a spoon at Eridan before tossing it into the sink. Eridan winced at the sound, but moved to open the cupboards and pull out a large pot before filling it with water. “And you can’t tell me it’s not magic, you add a bunch of shit to a big bubbling pot and then you eat it! Or drink it. C’mon, I’ll let you have Frigglish as a familiar.”

“I don’t need a fuckin’ familiar-“ Eridan shook his head, gathering up his supplies before taking up his station in front of the stove. The kitchen fell silent as the water began to boil, and it wasn’t until Roxy wrapped her arms around Eridan’s waist that the silence was broken with a sudden exclamation.

“Shit, don’t surprise me like that, this water’s hot.”

“It’s not the only thing.” Roxy laughed, hiding her face against Eridan’s back. “But, uh-sorry. Didn’t meant to scare you.”

“’S not a big deal.” Eridan shrugged, now ignoring the wavy curls that fell in his face. “Did you want white sauce? Or just the store-bought red?”

“What decent wizard uses store-bought potions? White, my magical minion! Or I shall have Frigglish eat your ear.” Roxy grinned, flicking Eridan’s ear to watch him flinch. “I’ll grab the milk.”

Eridan simply grunted in response, mixing the pasta into the water before starting another pot for the sauce. Milk and soup were mixed together, and Eridan sprinkled together herbs and mushrooms before dumping them in. Roxy, though trying to help, ended up clinging to Eridan most of the time, and eventually ruffled his hair into disarray before getting them plates.

“Thank you!” Roxy sang, waiting as Eridan served the noodles before making her way to the couch. “By the way, if you want me to help you figure out the mage class, I can show you the moves. I promise I’ll go easy on you.”

“You don’t havta go easy on me, I can manage. It’s just a simple set up, right? I can look it up online, most of the spells are just combining the right ingredients. And if you know how the world works, it’s simple math. I just need to do some research.”

“You take all the fun out of it.” Roxy complained, sprawling over one arm of the couch. Frigglish meowed in echoed complaint, leaping up to nestle against her legs, and Eridan reluctantly settled against the far end of the couch to nibble at his own pasta. “Magic isn’t science, you dork. It’s just magic.”

“Magic isn’t real. And mages only exist in the game, so fuck you.” Eridan stuck out his tongue, ducking an imaginary missile from Roxy’s finger-pistol.

“Whatever, you moron. Try proving that the next time I challenge you to a duel.”

“As if!” Eridan quieted to eat his pasta, making a momentary concession but refusing to let the argument die. It was a familiar argument, but Roxy seemed happy to simply poke him with her toes instead of contesting it further. For the time being, they ate in contented silence, Frigglish curling up to purr in the space between them, and Eridan simply smiled. Maybe magic wasn’t real, but at least he could make Roxy happy. And all it took was a bit of gaming and a good batch of bow-tie pasta.


End file.
